December 11, 2015

"Its Broken"

For those of you who I've actually talked about this blog with, you understand where I've been. You know I've been hiding. I've been avoiding this blog like the plaque...I hate it. I'm truly sorry to say I hate writing.

This is not something that I have EVER wanted to do! I'm not a writer I'm a numbers girl...let's do some long division....please, just not with that area model stuff because that is just a waste of time!

Well I'm sitting up tonight with my daughter who has no desire to sit down and relax, she would rather go go go go go. So instead of forcing her to go to sleep, we tried letting her cry it out tonight...but after 45 minutes of constant screaming, we chose to let her get up. So here I am at 12:30 still up and trying hard to stay that way until my little one crashes.

So I was trying to come up with something to waste my time on...I've been on Facebook for awhile, I was on my Jamberry site for a bit, but I've ran out of goofing off to do...so I had this heart nudge to write, but write about what?? I had no idea. I still truly don't!

However a few weeks ago, during my session with my therapist, we got to talk about my blog and my writing. We came up with a plan, and part of that plan was #RestoredNotBroken.

So here I am trying to figure out if I can find something to do instead of head over here to the blog, when my daughter hands me her toy ice cream come and says "its broken".

So I fixed it and all has been Restored. #RestoredNotBroken...

What is this new hashtag all about??

It all started with a necklace, A broken necklace that I should have returned.....

This necklace was bought, and when I brought it home and took it out to wear it the next day...I noticed a stone missing. So said necklace sat in the bag waiting to be returned for a month.

One day I noticed the bag, and thought I would go return it that day, however, as I reached for that bag to go. I heard a voice...clear as day..."Kyla, do not return that necklace it is broken, just like you were, and I have accepted you anyway" No one was home with me....It could truly have only come from one place. My God. I also heard "wear it and remember what I've done for you"

I quite frequently will wear my broken necklace, and while it is #Broken it as been #Restored in that I have accepted it how it is and it is mine.

Just like My God did for me. I was a #broken person...a truly #Broken person, when God accepted me for who I was. Actually he accepted me before I was #Broken, before I was alive, before I was a thought on anyone's radar...he accepted me the night HIS ONLY SON DIED ON THE CROSS FOR ME.

He Restored my broken self with his Unbroken self.

So I've set out on a new journey...I will take photos of broken things. See if it makes my writing come to me. So far the only broken thing I have photographed is the dark entryway...because well the light bulb went out..so its #Broken. Some day it will be #RestoredNotBroken and then...like when God #Restores, the light will take over the darkness and life will be easier in that small spot in my world.

I'm going to try #Restore bedtime in this house...I'm exhausted. I hope this makes sense...I'm not sleeping well to begin with and just letting my thoughts run here...sorry RAW #WarriorPrincessKJ is what you got tonight!

~*Signing Off*~
#warriorprincessKJ

October 27, 2015

Sorry.

For those of you who have been worrying about me...I'm still alive!

I'm sorry I've seem to have fallen off the face of the earth. I've been processing things.

Lots of things.

I was just looking on facebook and saw this post by Natalie Grant regarding her song "Clean"

I've spent hours today, reading every single comment about my song "Clean". Tears have streamed down my face and I've...
Posted by Natalie Grant on Monday, October 26, 2015
I was reading the last line: There's NOTHING too dirty that HE can't make worthy. He is the King of the world and His grace does not have an expiration date.

That basically sums up for me how my thoughts about myself changed on October 18, 2014

I had been seeing myself as dirty for 13 years, unworthy of basically anything good. Then I realized, that no. God has MADE me worthy, he has made me clean. I can't wait to buy this album by Natalie Grant and listen to you daily to be reminded that He Made Me Whole, Clean and Worthy again. 

The only person that can do that is God himself, no person on earth can fill those voids. 

I got to thinking then, that maybe someone out there in my blog world is feeling unworthy, unclean, and unwanted tonight. 

I want you to know that you are WANTED! and the one that wants you can make you WORTHY and CLEAN and WHOLE! All you have to do is trust in him. 

His Name is Jesus Christ, he wanted you so much he died for you! 

Do you know anyone that loves and wants you so much they would truly do that for you? Any human being? I can honestly tell you I don't think my husband even loves me that much.

I'll leave you with that. 

~*Signing off*~
#warriorprincessKJ