This is going to be a post where I just let my thoughts flow, I'm not going to edit, I'm not going to stop and rearrange, I'm just going to go. I need to process life since my Grandma died.
MorMor has been gone over a month now. I still find myself reaching for speed dial to call her room and just hear her.
For some reason today she is all I can think about it. I am so thankful I was able to be with her during those last breaths and her last week on earth. God worked out my entire schedule for the week so I could drop everything and be there.
I got the call on a Monday, I was home on Tuesday. I walked in her room and she mumbled my name, and asked plain as day where my daughter was. She wanted to see the baby. I promised to bring her by the next day then I sat and read to her. I read to her the Book of Ruth from her bible and then I read to her Psalm 23.
The next day when the Pastor came, we spent some time praying with MorMor. We prayed the prayer that Grandma always prayed and taught me to pray when times were hard.
"Our Father, who art in heaven, hollowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not in to temptation but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, the power and glory for ever and ever. Amen."
As we prayed that prayer, MorMor made noises right along with us, like she was trying to pray with us.
The first few weeks were so hard. The only thing that pulled me through was knowing that I get to see her again. MorMor taught us that a relationship with Jesus Christ is the only thing that will get you through. Having that relationship is how I know my dear MorMor is in heaven with God, and I will get to see her again. I am so thankful that I have that to lean on.
As I sat with her one day I turned on her CD player and we just listened. The Old Rugged cross came on. I just kept thinking that day...that MorMor was going to get to turn her cross in for a crown so soon.
Holding hands with her and the family that was with me while she took her last breath and her soul left this earth was the most peaceful thing I have ever seen. She just fell asleep and went to be with God, she went and Got her crown. I imagine her up there helping prepare a place for the rest of us, working hard, because she enjoyed doing things for others. But I also know she is getting her rest that she so deserves. She fought so hard for so long.
I've had a few moments happen since she past that I know without a doubt she is WITH me and I know that I now have the best guardian angel ever, but I miss her so much.
My earthly human self hates that she is gone, but my Jesus loving heart knows she is with Him and I will get to see her again, while it doesn't make the pain of loss less it brings me hope knowing there is an 'again' on the horizon. I have the chance to see her again, the chance to hold her again and the chance to just be with her again. Thanks to my hope in Jesus Christ.
~*signing off*~
#warriorprincessKJ
