Testimony

I'm a work in progress.

Before I became a christian, I thought I already was a christian. You know, because, I attended church regularly, even taught Sunday school to little kids. I figured I did the right things, I had the right attitude, I would be fine and I would get to heaven.

Then I was raped.

I had been saving myself, figured it was the right thing to do. I didn’t need to have sex, but my then boyfriend did. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

So things changed.

I blamed God. 

I was saving myself for Him, and He let this happen to me.

I didn’t understand why.

I pulled away from God.

I still went to church, because I HAD TO, but I stopped teaching Sunday School, I stopped doing the extras.

But something was missing.

I tried filling that void with other boyfriends, activities, etc. Then I moved away from home, I stopped going to church.

Something was still missing.

The boyfriends didn’t fill the void anymore. I started searching. Then I met B. For our second date, he took me to church. Things started changing. I found this desire to fill my void more and more, with what I had had before, when I was attending church, church camps, youth gatherings. I started trying to go to church. I didn’t go often, I couldn’t find one I truly liked and felt comfortable in. I felt judged, for some reason. Then I truly started getting to know B and his family. B was raised by Christian parents, he answered my questions, if he couldn’t his mom did. The more I learned the more I wanted to learn. 

I figured out I had never truly accepted Christ as my Lord and savior. 

Since doing that, things haven’t been easy. It hasn’t been knock down drag out rough, but every time I get too comfortable with life, relying on myself, I stumble. Then I laugh, as I am reminded I need the Lord. That rock I stumbled on was HIM saying Hi, KJ, its time to turn back to me.