Bathrooms....

Yes, Ladies and Gents, The bathroom you use in a public place has become a topic of great discussion in 2016.

Now, I need to be up front with you all and say that I don't know much about why this has become a debate. I was out of town when it went down in Charlotte.

What I know:
Voters in NC passed a law for transgender bathroom usage.
Government in NC said they don't have to follow what the voters said.
The world is now in an uproar.

I also need to say I don't know much about transgender people and how they come to be...other than that God made them, put them in someone's belly, and they showed up in the world. I mean I have kids...I do know that much ;)

So here is what else I know....

I was a victim of rape.

If I saw a man, or what I would presume to be a man based on looks, follow me into a bathroom, I would probably go in to a great big panic attack.

I would not feel safe.

Now I know what you are thinking "s/he wouldn't rape you" but how do I really know that? How do I really know that something awful won't happen to me in any public bathroom?

Well I know my friend Jesus, is watching out for me. I know he was watching out for me the day I was raped as well. However, I know I am human, and I know that because I am human, I some times experience fear and worry. I know I would be okay with transgender bathrooms.

Why can't they just have single stall bathrooms that just say restroom and anyone use them...no labels?

The other thing that bothers me about this whole thing, is that, while I know I would be uncomfortable in a transgender bathroom, I do not agree with the government saying they didn't have to listen to the voters.

I'm sure there was more in the bill then just the bathroom thing, because thats how bills work, and as I said before I don't know much about this whole situation.

But I am tired of hearing about it.
I am tired of thinking about what I would feel like being a 'guy' follow me into the bathroom.
I'm also tired of the world making a big deal about it, and the fact that prince died.

I know....#rampage is happening. I'm sore and cranky! I understand a famous guy passed away, and I know the world will miss his music...but seriously...thats all we have to talk about? The artist formally known as Prince passing, and bathrooms?!

*rant over*

~*Signing off*~
#warriorprincessKJ

accountability

Good afternoon,

Something happened at Teens last night, that I just have to share.

We are working through a series at church called "Hope Dealers". Its been an amazing series, where are you finding your hope, how to share your hope in Jesus with others, etc.

Well, yesterdays topic was on our identity and how we need to find our hope in who we are with Christ. However, what does that look like for a teen was the topic, etc. Now I know I'm not a teen...but I was really struck by a few of the questions, and at the end, we discussed what sins are holding us back from living the life Jesus created for us.

It was put on my heart yesterday my disobedience towards writing.

So when asked to write down that sin that is holding us back, I wrote down disobedience.

I decided to give it over to The Lord, because it is only through His power that I am able to write, that I am able to give up being disobedient.

I'm asking you, my readers, to help me out with this. I'm telling you straight up that I need help. I am very disobedient when it comes to writing. I don't understand the calling. It scares the living right out of me. It FREAKS ME OUT, almost as much as spiders! However, I realized last time I wrote, that since I'm feeling called to write, and writing about what is on my heart, I'm learning to heal from things. This will be better for me then for anyone else if I just give up my control and do as I'm told.

Seriously, don't we wish that of our children at times? Like, NO just do it my way...please I'm begging you! So here I am trying to do it HIS way instead of mine.

Could you call me out if you don't see me writing enough? Maybe throw a topic or 2 at me....;)

What is enough? If you don't see 1-2 posts a week...then I'm not writing enough, deal?

I know I tried to do the whole #write365 thing, but I was like nah, I don't have to do that. I quit.

SO lets try this again....1-2 posts a week for the future. Okay? No post all week..CALL ME OUT! Check in with me, whatever you must do to make sure I'm not falling into my trap of disobedience?

Thank you in advance!!!

~*Signing off*~
#warriorprincessKJ

Raw thoughts, no plan.

Hello lovely readers,

Sorry I've been away for so long. I've had a few moments of "I should blog this" or "i'm feeling ready to write" yet I've avoided it. Found other things to do, other uses of my time.

Today though, I just really feel the need to share my failure.

I've been attending a bootcamp now for almost 2 months. We've started this challenge, and 2 times a week, we have work out challenges we have to do. Knowing that today's challenges included pull ups and push-ups. I struggled to get out of bed.

I struggled to get moving this morning.
I struggled to get in the door.

I made it.
I got up, got EJ to preschool and went to camp. Got on the floor, did the warm up. Got assigned the pull-ups in the first station.

Great.

Pull-ups.

I knew this was coming. I asked my husband last week, if I can just get one pull up out, "will you be proud of me?" I wanted to hear a flat out 'yes, but I'm already proud of you for what you've accomplished.' My husband is a man of few words. I'm realizing right now, as I type this, because I never sit down prepared to write a certain thing, I just let the words come out. I've been trying to get his approval, he appreciation, I want to know he is proud of me. I want him to tell me that, without me prompting him.

Well, I got up on the box step, knowing it wasn't worth trying it unassisted, I went straight to the blue band. The last option, the tool that is suppose to make it the easiest.

Arms up.
and GO! Up....no, I went down, and could not pull up! Not even an inch.

I tried again. Down I went.

Finally reached out to the trainer and was told if I couldn't do one, then I could do these type that lay down sort of and that would work.

So I failed. I failed my dream of doing ONE pull up.

I didn't give up on that dream, it will happen, but it might be months.

I cried, I let evil thoughts in my heads.

I went through the rest of the upper body protocol, and got back to station one...the pull-ups.

Guess what, I didn't go straight back to the TRX bands, I went back up to the box. I was determined to try it again.

I tried it again...two more times, and I failed. I had to come to the realization that, I was not going to do a pull up today. I don't believe I quit, and I don't believe I gave up. I went back to the TRX bands and knocked out 15 modified pull ups.

Getting 1 pull up in today, would not have changed my life. My husband probably would not have told me he was proud of me. He just doesn't do those things. It doesn't change who I am. I am still KJ, child of the King.

My Father, is still proud of me, He loves me with or without a push up. In fact, he knows the EXACT date I will finally get that pull up in. How cool is that?!

I was searching for approval in the wrong place, and that has come to a head...right now. The only approval I need, I have. Because Its not about what I achieve its about what I receive. The day I accepted Christ I received his LOVE and APPROVAL every day, no matter what.

I failed today, but I learned today.
I will fail at something tomorrow, hopefully I will learn again.
One day I will get that pull up in, and if I don't...well at least I can full back on my push ups ;) (162 in 10 minutes for those of you wondering)

Thanks for working through my emotions with me.

Signing off
#warriorprincessKJ